Saturday, April 14, 2012

Relationships: Why the love-hate?

Returning to the theme of this blog that part of happiness is above all love. In a previous post spoke of love, its complicated definition, but this time we will focus more on love applied to the world of relationships.


It would be worth taking a look at the post You know love? to refresh and perhaps to discover what each and every one of us mean by love.
The way I understand it after a long read, experienced and feeling very different emotions and intense is that love begins in oneself and when I say one's self I am not referring to our ego mind that keeps us attached to material things of this life, more quite the opposite, if we love our own self, out of prejudice of mind that creates ego to not give up, we will begin to feel true love and then we'll know the right way to love your partner. Let's see what happens, unfortunately in a more common than we wanted, in relationships.

    At first he was "in love" is a wonderful feeling, you're full of energy and feel very alive. Suddenly your life has meaning, someone needs you, makes you feel special and loves you, you form a unit together now. All this is very nice and seem very happy. Where is the problem?

    This first and energetic intensity with which begins the relationship will be problematic when over time it becomes necessary and attachment, you become addicted to other member of the couple and this feeling hopelessly adrift in the appearance of jealousy, possessiveness, emotional blackmail , attack, defense, ultimately fear of loss. If where appropriate, the other person leaves us, or feel severely attacked by some form of treachery, we will quickly than we thought "love" to play the strongest hostility against the other or sink into the largest of the pains . This is the moment when the questions arise: Where is love now? Can love turn into hate or intense pain? What you felt for your partner really was it love?



    We all want to be in love, feel that energy and special vigor provides the beginning of that new relationship, full of dreams we place in our partner, as it is who is going to bring happiness to we demand, our better half will make us feel complete and finally not have to look further, we have found our happiness. Well, this way of understanding this is a serious error that most of us fall or have fallen on occasion. Is true that most people, especially the younger, we feel incomplete, we need a half, hence the spiritual home irresistible impulse to find a partner to end the duality that we feel and return to the unity we seek. The physically culmination of this drive is the longed for sexual union, to be as close as we can be to feel complete.

    From this it follows that the error lies in seeking true love, happiness and sense of unity out of us, all these hopes lay in the material world, whether another person (or property) just give us a first time of apparent "happiness" in this case would be falling in love. Let us separate ourselves a little of form and the material and seek those feelings in a place where most of us did not occur to us to find, within ourselves. People who really know how to love their partners and the people around them are those who experience and have found these feelings inside, that their love can not ever turn into anger or pain, that is pure love we should all learn to find and that we should all enjoy, that love can not be pigeonholed in any religion or ideology, simply exists and is there for you to discover within yourself. Now that we have recognized this common failure to understand how relationships, in future posts we will learn some guidelines for locating and feel that true love, I assure you that there is no better feeling.

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